“I’m not going to enter the competition – unless I know I will win.”

“I’m entering the competition – because, if nothing else, I’ll grow and learn from the experience.”

No prizes for guessing which of those three statements resonates most with me!

Today marked one of the three London Finals for the Toastmasters International Speech and Evaluation Contests. Think of it as  “Round 3″ of the Contest Season, with five speakers in each, representing a total of 20+ public speaking clubs across central and south-western London.

But in the morning, we had two workshops which shed valuable light on the benefit of entering public speaking contests.

First up was Bob Ferguson (UK & Ireland Champion of Public Speaking in 2002) who spoke of the tremendous positive impetus that the pressure to compete gave him. Lessons learned included the value of:

• always having a log-book to jot down ideas
• recognising that a great speech is 99% perspiration, 1% inspiration
• treating contests as an opportunity to step outside your comfort zone
• never EVER throwing a speech away – archive it!

Next up, the thoroughly entertaining and impressive Gayna Cooper – herself a seasoned competitor within the public speaking world. For Gayna, my sense was that contests have given her an opportunity to develop and hone material which can then be used outside of the public speaking club environment.

Fantastic. I’m reminded of an observation made by Warren Evans, professional speaker and former President of the Canadian Professional Speakers Association: audiences expect your best content, not your ‘untried-untested-experimental’ new content!

For this reason, it’s a pleasure to give a ‘shout out’ for Gayna’s upcoming humorous speaking tour of the UK later this year!

“In Pursuit Of World Peace & Thin Thighs”

Irrespective of whether you’re in the public speaking world or not, when’s YOUR next opportunity to put yourself under real pressure?

When will you next compete?

Go on, dare you…

NOTICES:

The Division L London Toastmasters Finals will be held on Friday 26th April in central London – click here for details.

The UK & Ireland District Conference in Torquay will be held on 10th-12th May 2013. Click here.

If you’d like to develop YOUR public speaking/presentation skills, check out Simon’s next ‘Master Your Presentation Skills’ course on Friday 17th May 2013. Click for details!

© Submit to Any - jjtcomputing.co.uk

The spoken word is powerful.

How effective are you in capturing and broadcasting that value to others? Especially when in conversation over skype with colleagues/fellow experts?

Of course, many conversations you’ll want to keep conversational – but not always.

I just returned from the Fellows’ Forum at the UK Professional Speaking Association in central London. Two experts presented at some length during the session on web presence & use of the internet: Graham Jones, internet psychologist and Terry Brock, expert in web & tech tools to help grow business.

If I took only one thing from Graham Jones’ presentation, it’s the importance of adding content every day to your website (assuming you have one!) This leads back to the question above about making virtual conversations to others…

I have been experimenting for some time on the use of skype interviews for potential blog (or vlog) content – and expect to post the first of these soon. My question to Terry Brock in the meeting today, however, was how best to do it?

Terry’s advice?

• check out Google Hangouts (now broadcastable via youtube) as a way to make your conversation (either solo or in conversation) accessible to a large audience… LIVE!
• for skype vlogging, a useful basic tool is Call Recorder enabling you to record a split screen interview (note: I have been experimenting with this tool and so far, find it to work well – more soon!)
• for more sophisticated capturing and editing of skype calls/vlogs, consider Camtasia or Screenflow

For my part, watch this space for upcoming interviews via skype!

If you’re UK-based and presenting on a professional basis already (or you are interested in entering the professional speaking world) then check out the UK Professional Speaking Association here.

If you have an angle on the ‘spoken word’ which might be of interest to us here at The Art Of Connection blog, then do get in touch via this link!

Finally, to receive our regular (monthly-ish) eNewsletter, you can subscribe free of charge via this link. No commitment and you can unsubscribe any time you want…

© Submit to Any - jjtcomputing.co.uk

Quite a day and evening… Richard Mullender spent the day running a 1-day Masterclass in Listening Skills for The Art Of Connection Academy as a public course.

Meanwhile, I spent the evening delivering a fresh new interactive talk on the topic of ‘becoming a speaker coach’. In other words, it was a session for individuals aspiring to:

• enter the business of coaching speakers
• OR improve their existing coaching business and/or skills and/or insight

I felt privileged to be invited by one of my former speaker clubs, Excalibur Speakers, to deliver this (brand new) session in the form of one of their special open workshops for Toastmasters in London. We had approx. 60 people sign-up (so clearly a topic of interest) with actual turnout being around 40-50.

While I’ve had the opportunity to provide coaching for a significant, and growing, community of individuals over recent years – including corporate execs, entrepreneurs, Best Men and more – until now, I’ve not really ‘spoken’ on the topic of speaker coaching to other coaches.

Rather than shoehorn in a whole load of material which I could not be sure would be relevant, tonight was about experimenting with a significant chunk of facilitated Q&A – in an attempt to flush out what the audience wanted first. (I should add that I made this clear to the audience, so they knew my reasoning).

In the event that it could be helpful for you in facilitation (or indeed coaching), here’s a summary of some of the key steps I took in facilitating the first big chunk of the session:

• Prior to the session, identify the three questions you think THEY will most want answered/addressed

• Write those on a flipchart at the event but hide from audience view

• Invite the audience to consider the following: “If you could ask only three questions on the topic of X (in this case, Speaker Coaching), what would they be?”

• Invite audience to write those questions down in a singleminded “How do I…” format on a sheet of paper/handout.

• Invite them to share/discuss their 3 questions with their neighbour

• In light of that conversation, offer them the opportunity to hone, simplify and/or change their three key questions – single-mindedness and clarity are key!

• Cluster the questions by theme – i.e. find a way as facilitator to map out where the bulk of the questions/audience needs lie. See below for how I did this

I revealed MY three questions on the flipchart (remember: these were my ‘hypothesis questions’. I also included a fourth ‘miscellaneous’ category.

How do I get more clients?

How do I manage/structure/handle fees?

How do I differentiate myself?

Miscellaneous

Now it’s time to test your hypothesis – and flush out blindspots you may have missed.

So… I assigned each of my three questions a corner of the room, with the fourth corner acting as the ‘Miscellaneous’ corner.

Invite people to pick their personal ‘No. 1′ question and walk to the appropriate corner of the room. So if someone has: ‘how do I negotiate fees’, they should walk to Corner No. 2.If someone else has: ‘how do I market myself’, they should go to Corner 1 or 3. If someone else has: how do I convert a ‘one-off’ piece of business into a stream of sessions, they should probably go to Corner 4.

*

The benefit?

You get a snapshot view of:

• whether your hypothesis of audience needs is right
• where the audience’s thinking actually lies

More importantly, your audience gets an opportunity to really think about what they want to get out of the session! Added benefit in the case of this session: honing and clarifying outcomes is not a bad coaching skill for audience members to develop as coaches, in any case!

Tonight was the first time I’d facilitated an opening like this and I know there are changes and improvements I’d make when running that method again, especially in terms of pacing. But hey, I’ve done it for a first time!

What in future might YOU do to flush out what’s on your client’s or audience’s mind, before you let loose with your material and agenda?

© Submit to Any - jjtcomputing.co.uk

Had a very enjoyable – and, as ever, productive – lunch with my mentor in the Professional Speaking Association today: Graham Jones, internet psychologist and expert in online behaviour.

“So, blogging…” I ventured  “Just how important is it?”

“Very.”

“So, I read in one of your blog posts recently that you advise people should blog every single day. Is that really true?”

“Absolutely – and if possible, four five or even six times a day.”

Wow.

In the spirit of taking action – especially when on the advice of experts in their field – I figured it was time to… well, get on with it!

A caveat though – most blogs fail because the bloggers give up. Research shows that regular blogging cannot be expected to give a meaningful return until after some seven months has passed.

That’s seven months, blogging every single day.

Well, no time like the present, eh? Onwards!

What habits are you seeking to instil that will promote your business or professional value?

© Submit to Any - jjtcomputing.co.uk

However, the question related to how to make your speech memorable… [Jakub, do correct if I'm wrong]

One of the most valuable tips I’ve picked up is this:

Be single-minded.

While it may be tempting to make a whole series of points, especially if you’re dealing with complex info and/or you have the ability to juggle complex info in your head, there is real power in making a single point/observation/insight and then really driving it home.

So often you see presenters try to say too many things in too short a time and as a result the power is diluted. I remember Rob Brown, an expert on networking, suggesting to an audience of professional speakers a while back that they adopt an ‘inch wide, mile deep’ mindset in their business niche.

Great advice for high-impact, memorable presentations too! ‘Inch-wide’ is your key message (or foundational phrase, to adopt Darren & Craig Valentine’s terminology) while ‘mile deep’ comprises the emotional depth of your story(ies) and your exercises and activities to ensure your audience really embeds your idea.

Put another way, think of your message as just the thin end of the wedge – rather than seeking to do what many do which is ‘death-by-a-thousand-cuts’!

Connect your ‘inch-wide’ crystal clear, single point with compelling evidence and, in a speech, you’re much more likely to be remembered…

Hope that helps!

If you’re interested in developing your skills, take a look at our upcoming public courses, including a 1-day Masterclass in presentation skills. Just click here for details.

© Submit to Any - jjtcomputing.co.uk

More to the point, he’d recently published his book: ‘Bounce: the myth of talent and the power of practice.’ It’s been a while, but can I just say that I thought his book was (and remains) SUPER and well worth a read? This is especially true if you’re a parent to young children!

Even now, two years on I can remember a good deal of the insight – and particularly the anecdotes – which Matthew cited in his talk. Expanded on in some detail in the book, he references the fabled British table tennis player, Desmond Douglas, alleged to have ‘lightning fast reaction speeds’ only for researchers to discover his reaction times were actually slow when under controlled conditions.

The explanation for his speed at the table tennis table? Growing up in a poor neighbourhood, he spent countless hours learning to play at a local youth club so small there were only a couple of feet between the edge of the table and the back wall. He had to stand up close to the table and react quickly because of his environment. nothing to do with innate ability at all.

Or the reference to Mozart – the ‘childhood prodigy‘. Yet on further examination, the product less of extraordinary talent, rather the product of an extraordinary upbringing. The idea of having conducted more hours of piano practice by the age of six than most adult musicians conduct in a lifetime makes me shiver to this day!

Matthew made much, I recall, of the critical role of ‘mental software’ to conduct activities at a high-level of skill. This software is highly specialised and cultivated over many hours of dedicated, meaningful practice. In time, actions/thoughts which to the uninitiated take conscious effort become embedded in the sub-conscious. Hence, Roger Federer playing lawn tennis is sensational. Put him in a Real Tennis court, however, and he become merely… ‘very good’.

As a child growing up, so often I recall peers of mine being praised or castigated for being ‘very talented’ or ‘very clever’. How disempowering was that?

As father of a 21 month old daughter, I for one am committed to praise her effort and hard work – above any presupposed ‘talent’ I may decide to bestow upon her as a doting parent! For this mindset, which I’m convinced will serve her far better for her long-term development, I have many resources to thank, chief among which is ‘Bounce.’ Great job, Matthew. And come to think of it, it might just be time to pick it up again…

© Submit to Any - jjtcomputing.co.uk

• I got married last year
• I have a Best Man Speech on Youtube that’s garnered a fair few hits
• I coach Best Men and have recently launched an eBook

On Facebook, the “Wedding Dresses” Page has 1,602,301 Likes.

Extraordinary!

Enter in “Best Man Speech” on Facebook and (at least, according to my research) the top result comes out with a mere 2,027 Likes.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting 1.6million people are wrong. What I am saying is that, given the amount of chatter about Best Man Speeches and wedding speeches in general, isn’t the apparent gulf extraordinary?

There are obviously a whole host of explanations for this, chief among which is that the Bride remains the centrepiece of most weddings (to my knowledge) and that ‘her look’ is absolutely critically important. Understandably!

However, in my experience, the quality of the speeches also have a tremendous impact on the guests’ experience of the day. Certainly if there’s a cracking speech or an absolute dog of a speech, they’re likely to feature heavily in guests’ chat both on the day and at the watercooler the following week…

“G*d, you’ll never believe what the Best Man THEN said…”

Let’s set about changing all that – speeches are worth taking seriously.  You may not be able to ‘look’ at a speech in the same way that you can look at a dress (or a morning suit for that matter). But the impact of what’s said, how it’s put across and the audience reaction matters.

Which is why, as a public speaking coach with a number of Best Man (plus the occasional Father-of-the-Bride) on my books, I’ll continue to be taking an interest in the wonderful world of weddings…

© Submit to Any - jjtcomputing.co.uk

To explain…

A few weeks back, I launched my first full-on eBook. Finally!

Entitled: ‘To Give A Great Best Man Speech… Don’t Go On The Internet!” it’s designed, as the title might suggest, to help Best Men develop cracking speeches for weddings.

Having been a Best Man myself, I know how stressful it can be. Having watched Best Man Speeches online and sat in the audience at a fair few weddings, I’m struck by how often the content and humour defaults to… well, shall we say ‘the wrong sort of humour’.

Put another way, the speech does a better job of inducing cringes than laughs. If you’d like a reminder of just how bad things can go, take a look…!

*

When I posted my own Best Man Speech on youtube a few years back (see below), I did it for fun as much as anything else. After all, at that time, I had precious little else by way of video footage. However, as months passed, it ticked up a reasonable amount of interest and last time I checked, it’d logged 62,000 or so views.

It wasn’t long before I was providing some help and guidance to other Best Men. Before I knew it, I had my first paying Best Man coaching client and since that time (about three years ago) the community has grown. Today, it remains a niche part of my business – but one I hugely enjoy.

Wedding Speakers out there – I salute you!

*

Point is, following a recent meeting at the London Region of the Professional Speaking Association, it was suggested that the eBook I’ve produced could well have potential in hard copy.

Hence the chat with the book designer and publisher this morning.

Needless to say, there are ideas aplenty for how we might serve the fine upstanding community of Best Men better than they are currently served!

We’ll see how this develops but if, in the months ahead, you encounter a new book for Best Men that looks, sounds and reads just ‘a little bit different’ from all the others, well I’d like to think that you heard it here first…

For a video tip for Best Man speakers, click here.

To view the Kindle version of the eBook, click here.

© Submit to Any - jjtcomputing.co.uk

“Simon, remember it’s possible to be the greatest authority in the world on your topic… that nobody’s ever heard of.”

Food for thought for any small business owner. You have to get ‘known’ by your prospective customers, directly or indirectly. The only way to do that is to put yourself out there in some way!

For my part, been doing some upgrading of the blog recently (mostly back-office and invisible) but it should contribute to the blog becoming that little bit ‘better known’.

Registering on Technorati, the leading Blog Directory (at least to my knowledge) is one of those initiatives – which is why I must include the code

5Q6ZQV5SG543

…in a post! It demonstrates that I am indeed the legitimate lead blogger for this site. So there you have it – that’s one little initiative from me in the spirit of getting the word out.

What’s your ‘technorati code initiative’ for today that will help you get that little bit ‘more known’?

© Submit to Any - jjtcomputing.co.uk

I started out with the intention of assessing the whole speech, but found so much masterful communication packed into the first 60 seconds that, in this post, I’ve opted to focus exclusively on that first minute! Feel free to add a comment if further evaluation might be of interest.

Either way, if you opt to read this post, you’ll find this footage of Francis I helpful, even if you only watch the first 60secs. My observations are below.

It’s worth saying upfront that, whatever you may think or feel about the Vatican, they know how to do Drama. The whole process by which a new Pope is elected is a stunning theatre-piece, from start to finish.

The assembly of the Cardinals, the use of the Sistene Chapel, the ‘Extra omnes!’ and shutting of the doors, not to mention the shedding of the smoke.

Moments of drama, by definition, captivate.

Which is why we should look to invoke them in our day-to-day communication. If you want to get a point across – I mean really get it across – connect your point with a story and strive to identify a decisive ‘moment’ within that story, which helps your listeners to understand the outcome. Drama stimulates emotion; emotion helps embed a memory.

[For more on this topic, you can view the article I posted for Changeboard: 'What's Your Greatest Moment?']. Equally, if you’re reading this on 13th March, you may be interested in a public event I’ll be giving … tonight! ‘High-Impact Business Storytelling’]

Meanwhile, some first reactions to Francis I ‘ in action’ – note these come fresh from my watching the online footage of him addressing the crowds in St Peter’s Square.

• When in Rome… speak Italian… even if your first language is Spanish.

• Develop the rapport (1) - notice the impact of such a simple all-embracing greeting: “Brothers, Sisters, good evening.” Immediately, the language is inclusive. There’s a sense of ‘we’ as a family.

• Develop the rapport (2) - masterful establishment of common ground, while making a joke too. “You know that the duty of the Conclave…” a great line as it’s ‘you-focused’ and relates to something which 99.9% of people in the square absolutely DO know. For an Argentinian to suggest that the Cardinals went to the ends of the earth to find him… well, that’s just magic. Poking gentle fun at them and himself!

• Smiling! Since Francis is known as the Cardinal who never smiles, you wonder whether this is conscious or not. Don’t know. But either way, there’s tremendous energy in his facial expressions for a man in his late 70s. Just try it in the mirror – for facial expressions to really communicate, especially when not part of your natural behaviour, it takes real effort!

• Call back – his first request of the crowd is that they pray for Benedict XVI – again, rock solid common ground. It’s courteous, respectful and something which all can participate in willingly. Get people doing something early in your speech and you strengthen your connection with them…

Since the prayer for Benedict comes at pretty much bang on 60 seconds, I’d better stop there. But needless to say, there’s so much packed in here, you could build an entire Masterclass study group out of this single speech!

Early reports of him as a very humble and social justice-minded man seem accurate based on this first impression. As ever with things leadership related, only time will tell how effective and apposite these qualities prove…

© Submit to Any - jjtcomputing.co.uk